A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"While preaching is not allowed in Australian public schools, it is apparently fine to replace school counsellors with 'Christian Volunteers' such as Darryl. A few years ago, the government realised that they could hand over school counselling roles to a willing Christian church without having to pay for the privilege. Now almost half of Australian public schools have a Christian volunteer as a full time member of the school community with parents having no direct control of how much their children are exposed to. Although usually an advocate of people being entitled to their opinions, sexual preferences and beliefs, I seem to have developed some form of mental glitch that makes me want to punch Daryl's fat head..."

More:
http://www.27bslash6.com/easter.html

Originally posted at 4chan. (click to enlarge)

Original article: http://www.frumforum.com/waterloo

Well, DUH, Mr. Frum. Why exactly *did* it take so long for you to realize the damage your party was inflicting upon itself? The republican strategy of the past year reminded me of the failed 90's anti-drug campaign: "Just say no." Turns out the only thing America said "NO" to was the message of hate and fear that your most outspoken members spewed on behalf of the corporations they represent. Their behavior has been appalling, and for it you have lost the respect and attention of my generation. The republican party will always be remembered on this historic moment for sucking the corporate cock and spitting it out on the American people. Seriously, fuck you.

Google is working to bring fiber networks to cities and communities across the country, and is accepting nominations. Head to the City of Knoxville's "NOMINATE KNOXVILLE!" to vote and to learn more about the project.

So I was at work today and had just begun my mid-afternoon fecal dispersion, when I hear someone walk into the bathroom. My eyes immediately shoot up to the door handle which, since I exclusively use handicapped bathrooms at work for their extra ameneties, is a good 6 feet away and realize that it is unlocked. I am completely vulnerable. Because I am actively pooping, I have a choice to make: Do I get up and move across the stall to lock the door and potentially poop on the floor or, even worse, on myself or do I keep pooping and risk being walked in upon and filled with shame by my presentation? Well, decided to err on the side of modesty which, as you can tell by this post, I have quite a lot of, and stood up to lock the door. Then it happened. The end.

Instead we should be kicking out people who like Hawaiian pizza.

From Final Destination 2...

Coolest video EVER.